This quote hit home for me, like really hit home. I came across this quote scrolling on social media (before I removed it from my phone for a temporary time frame during my recovery).
What do you feel when you read this quote?
My initial feeling was an "ah-ha" moment and a sudden onset of tears. The "ah-ha" moment went on and said "Holy SH**, I have been enemies with my body for SO long and living distantly from it". From this point on I made a commitment to myself that I would stop trying to fix or change my body, live inside my body not separate from it, start taking care of my body, be friends with my body and lastly but most importantly love my body NO MATTER WHAT. For SO long I treated my body like it was an enemy, I was mean to it, never ever nice. I don't need to go into details on what I said about my body because I know you are or have done the same thing. Seriously though, how could I be SO mean?! My body did SO much for me! My body stuck with me when I was was depriving it energy it needed and put it through crazy exercising, especially when it was tired. During all that it also kept me well helping me fight off colds, it got my to work everyday, it provided me with a heart to love and take care of others, you get the picture- our bodies do a lot of stuff we take for granted. A simple quote may or may not change your views on your body. It may take you years to realize you need to be friends with your body. Quick side story- When I worked as a clinical RD, I had a 76 year old woman who had cancer, she was losing weight due to her illness. When I told her she needs to eat high calories/high fat foods so she could stop weight loss, she told be she didn't want to gain weight and get fat. SAY WHAT?! She was sick and potentially dying and she worried about her weight/how she looked. Do you want to be in your 70's worrying about what you LOOK LIKE?! Regardless of your health status or age, life is too short to be anything but happy with your body. Though my journey had just begun, I thank HA for teaching me how to love myself and take care of my body.
Through your journey with HA, it is SO important to learn how to love your body and accept how it is or how it might change. I was so afraid to stop exercising and starting eating more carbohydrates. Trust me, I didn't stop being afraid of my body changing overnight. It took sometime with a lot of ups and downs. How could I expect to change overnight something I learned from when I was a young girl. Okay so maybe I couldn't change overnight but I could certainly accept myself and finally become friends with my body. There are SO many emotions and feelings I went through when I decided to "go all in", I cannot begin to put them into words.
Of course my entire journey left me mentally and physically burnt out but when the RE said you will not have children naturally and will need fertility treatments, that was a hard kick in the stomach. Even with fertility treatments, if I didn't stop exercising and start eating more, fertility treatments may not work. I most desperately wanted children one day and that day came soon after my diagnosis of HA. We had no idea how long it would take to get pregnant. The RE said I could wait to see if I got a natural cycle back but he couldn't guarantee how long it would take. I was 29 years old by the time of the diagnosis of HA, so we decided it was time to start fertility treatments. I had no idea what this was going to entail but one thing I did know is that now I had my body on my side and lost my need to control/shame/hate my body. I believe this was truly an integral first step before beginning the hardship of fertility treatments.
Who Needs a Period? They are a pain in the a** anyway !