It was the summer before I turned 30 years young. I just finished my first round/cycle of fertility treatments and was on a break per doctors order until my ovaries were in good condition.
Over the summer, I went to multiple weddings, a trip to Vegas and took a ton of "me" time, time with my husband and time with family and friends. All while intuitively eating and not exercising intentionally- but joyfully. Boy did it feel good! For the first summer I could ever think of, I wasn't worrying about what I looked like in a bathing suit, how I was going to look in a dress for all my weddings, letting myself eat or drink whatever I wanted when I was out with my husband, in Vegas or at all of the weddings. I took beautiful morning walks, listening to the birds chirp and the dew hitting my face and felt okay with just walking (normally is wasn't exercise unless I was sweating to death), I went hiking, I went to movies, hung out with my non-workout friends (I still hung out with my workout friends and still do to this day) and the list can go on. The picture to the left is me and a few of my friends out having FUN :) I never isolated myself from going places but the worry of eating "bad" foods often played a big role when I did go out. I felt FREE and was having SO much FUN! My head was no longer clouded with food or exercise. I was finally able to focus on all the things I was missing out on before.
So you might be thinking..... She's making it seem so easy! Or man, I wish I could do that or feel that way. You SO can ! If you have already read through the previous posts (which I totally encourage you to do), you will see I struggled with my body image, negative thoughts about food, restrictive eating and exercising -since I was a young girl. Also, I'm not going to lie that these "bad" or "negative" thoughts never crossed my mind when I went "all in". They did and in fact its completely normal for these thoughts to come up. However, it is HOW you react to these thoughts. YOU have a choice. I would notice these thoughts and let them pass bringing myself back to the present moment focusing on what I was actually doing (for example- at a wedding with my husband and maybe I thought "Ugh I am feeling so fat after I just ate" noticing that thought then realizing "I am here at a wedding celebrating my friends and having a ball with my husband on the dance floor". Over time, these types of thoughts decreased and now as I write this I can say its extremely rare I ever have these types of thoughts. It took time, patience, self compassion and practice to feel this way.
So I titled this TTC journey continued because I knew that conceiving a child through fertility treatment alone wasn't going to get me to where I needed to be to conceive and taking on a new role as "Mom". After my first round of treatment, I did not feel mentally prepared to do it again until I was in a good place. Fertility treatment is not easy, its mentally and physically draining. Woman do and can conceive without practicing self compassion, self care, managing stress and going "all in" with fertility treatments. I just don't recommend it. I don't recommend it because nutritionally your body needs time to heal and be able to provide the best possible nutrition to your growing baby. Not just my personal recommendation but my professional recommendation. I also don't recommend because after you have the baby things are difficult- you want to be your best self for this little human.
Who Needs a Period? They are a pain in the a** anyway !